I'm a bit less melty today.  Feeling a little more together, I guess.  Not much of a choice.

 

It's not like anything went wrong in particular to make me melt down.  Sam's doing well.  He had stopped rolling over (because I started talking about it, no doubt) but he rolled again last night (and here I go again, huh?) so we'll see how that goes.  I got him a nasty sunburn when he wasn't even in the sun - I'll post some picture of that ridiculous catastrophe as soon as I remember where I put the camera. 

 

The trip to Montreal is in three weeks.  I'm excited to learn the new program.  The ABR therapy just looks so promising and hits all the right spots.  It'll be rejuvenating. 

 

We had a healing service at our church on Saturday night, and that's always a good thing.  After the service, special prayers are said, and two of the members of the congregation came up who always say exactly the right things.  And when one of them said "Wake up from this deep sleep SAMUEL", Sam's eyes opened big and he looked like he thought he'd better listen!  But really, I think we all felt something happening.  I know I did.  And Sam got hot all over, and he stayed warm all over for several hours.  So there you go. 

So I guess it's no real surprise that I had a meltdown on Friday.  Just basically collapsed.  Didn't have to go anywhere and my mom was here so I crawled in bed and stayed there for a while.  Go figure.  I'm not sure I'm done melting, but it's not really an option to hide away forever, is it?  I still kind of feel like my brain might explode sometimes. 

 

It's one of life's funny little ironies. (ha ha!) The more stable and mobile Sam is, the more places we go, the more independent we are, and the more chances we have to run into children, and yes, even adults, who look at him with horror and disgust on their faces and say terrible things.  I understand they don't mean anything by it and they don't know any better - I really do understand that - so there REALLY is no need for anyone to tell me that.  I just don't know how much more of it I can take.  He's not a monster and doesn't deserve to be treated like one.  And he can hear what everyone is saying.  His vision isn't clear enough to make out faces that aren't very close, so at least that's a blessing. 

 

So I'm tired.  And I still have lots of things to do tonight.  So I need to wrap some duct tape around my head and keep on going, because tomorrow is indeed another day.