I can't say I really know what's going on, actually.  Sam has been good, but then he's had some weird weekends where I don't know what's happening. 

 

Two weeks ago, on a Friday afternoon, Sam sneezed a few times and threw himself out of whack.  Then he got gaspy, gassy, miserable and stopped digesting his food.  And water.  It's a scary thing to see, because it looks like he can't catch his breath, but that's not what's happening.  I think it's a pain response, but it's just awful to see.  Once he falls asleep, he's fine, so I stay up through the night to get his food and fluids in him.  (I know there are days when "regular" kids don't feel like eating and it's okay.  That doesn't apply to Sam - I can't just let it go.  He loses weight quickly, and won't make up for today's drop in calories by snacking on Snickers tomorrow.)

 

He slept Friday night (I didn't) and woke up okay-ish on Saturday.  Then he sneezed again and fell to pieces.  Daniel (our chiropractor and the only doctor I can turn to whenever I need him) talked me through "rocking" Sam's ribs into place to give him some piece.  Sunday was slightly better, and Monday, we went to see Daniel and had a decent week.

 

Then Friday again, it started.  It wasn't as bad this time, but still, it was a rocky weekend.  Sunday night, Sam had a SCREAMING temper tantrum, and after that, he seemed better.  I mean REALLY better - more alert, more responsive, more "here" and more at peace. 

 

Yeah, I don't know either. 

 

But somehow in all of that, for a couple of days, I had a renewed sense of hope that I haven't had in a long time, so I figure there must be something good going on. 

 

And as far as that goes, there was also a car wash in Baltimore last weekend to raise money for Sam's therapies!  Our fabulous Chrissy had another car wash, since last year's helped us so much, and raised over $1,000!  That astonishes me - I can't imagine in times like these that people are so willing to help out some little boy they don't know who is 1,000 miles away. 

 

All of Sam's therapies cost so much money.  It's just not right.  We are supposed to be going to Montreal in a few weeks, but that isn't going to happen.  We'll shoot for April instead.  I'm having such a hard time getting our ABR hours in since Sam is going bonkers - he doesn't want to be still for it, and needs a lot of suctioning, so I don't feel like I'm getting any "quality" time in, which stinks.  There's a machine that does the exercises at night, but we can't afford to get that right now, either.  Arrgh.

 

Since I'm depressing myself, I think I'd better go.  I'll check in soon.  And I have to take some pictures, too.  Sam, Ben and Tim are all sporting "Rayhawks" since we are baseball folk and the Rays are going to win the World Series.